the infinite abyss

Branches - "Thou Art the Dream" Promo Video

2012-02-03T14:35:00.000-08:00

Our CD release shows are listed on my shows tab.

Also, if you haven't already,
check out the new website that launched!

www.branchesmusic.com

and The Wild Reeds' was launched as well!

www.thewildreedsmusic.com

Safe travels! x
-N

Inspirations

2012-01-28T15:44:00.000-08:00

I have a myriad of things that inspire me and i'd love to share them with you! (though they are not only music)
I always tell people, if you want to understand me better, listen to Lisa Hannigan, Glen Hansard and maybe a bit of Mr. Rice in there too (Damien, that is). And the three are actually all connected and come from the same roots and friend group.

These particular songs are having a profound affect on me, particularly now, when a lot of changes are taking place. Quite often lately, I've been re-evaluating the last four year of my life and how much i have learned and grown. From friendships, to relationships, to styles, to the way that I handle situations, and the three artists listed above have only grown with me. I'm not sure any of the three will ever be forgotten or leave my life, as they are timeless, well-written, strong songs with simple truths.
I can't choose my favorites, but here are a couple that have aided my reflection times.

and this....this is an oldie, but legendary.

I hope these warm your earbuds and minds and hearts. x
-N

New Year!

2012-01-23T13:39:00.000-08:00

Friends!

It is a new year, and great things are happening!

BRANCHES release of our new album was delayed about a month, but it is nonetheless, being printed as we speak!
We are planning on two release shows, (soon TBA), one in Southern California, and one in Northern California.
The album sounds great and we are so proud of it!
With the new album will be album promotion, more videos, more shows, and more photos!
2012 also brought our second TV placement on "One Tree Hill" of our song "Sleeper". This wasn't through the licensing company we signed with "Position Music" but from now on, our licensing will be done through them!
Also, exciting news! Our official website was launched thanks to our great friend Greg Christian (Sticks-stones)!
Check it out!

www.branchesmusic.com

Here are some pictures from filming our promo video for the new album "Thou Art the Dream":

Also, the Reeds have been active as well!
We are in talks with one of my best friends Matt Starcher for some work together in the future that we are so excited about!
We recently played our good friend Lacey Bryant's art opening at Modern Eden gallery in San Francisco
on january 21st! We had the honor of being Lacey's models for a couple of her paintings that were displayed in the show
and they look amazing!
Please check out Lacey's website here, she's incredibly talented!

http://laceybryantartist.com/

Here are some pictures from the night!

In other news, my great friend Shawn Morones (of Brother) has a project called "Cigarette Barbies" that sounds great! He wrote and arranged all the songs for this project, then brought in different girls to lay down vocals. It sounds amazing and i cannot wait for it to be released! It is so close to being completed and released and i was honored to get a track on it! Once publicly released, i will post it on here!

And finally, Robert DeLong (Robbie, aka Rob-dawg) continues to wow audiences and i am so lucky to be friends with such a talented fellow! Occasionally i will join him on - stage for live performances of "Perfect" but even if i am not singing I wouldn't miss a show for the world. It is a great community of friends and one of the things i look forward to most. He continues his residency at Los Globos and on January 21st got to play with Dillon Francis at the Observatory (big room) in Orange County.

He's also being played on KROQ and KCRW, so please call in and request OR send an e-mail requesting:

KROQ
1 (800) 520-1067
http://apps.kroq.radio.com/requestasong/

KCRW
310-450-5183
http://www.kcrw.com/about/contact_main

Safe Travels! Xx
-N

More new Releases!

2011-12-14T16:17:00.000-08:00

As promised, Branches and The Wild Reeds have released their Christmas music!

The Wild Reeds' is available for download here:
http://thewildreeds.bandcamp.com/

and Branches is available here:
http://soundslikebranches.bandcamp.com/

The Reeds is a live setting, so it's obviously cut production quality, but that is what we were going for!

Also, exciting news!
After our gig in San Diego, Branches was invited to the Invisible Children headquarters to play a livestream session for the freetimmy campaign. It was live online from the headquarters and we heard so much support from viewers. Thank you for all the requests and love!
(Check it out and donate here: http://blog.invisiblechildren.com/2011/12/free-timmy-and-help-invisible-children-cross-the-2-million-finish-line/)

They said some kind words about us on their blog! Thanks Invisible Children!
http://blog.invisiblechildren.com/tag/free-timmy/

Also, my very talented friend Taylor Broughton just released his E.P. yesterday on Itunes and it is great! I was so privileged to get to take part!
Listen and buy it her: http://itunes.apple.com/album/this-old-house-e.p.-ep/id489248244?v0=9988&ign-mpt=uo%3D1

Thank you so much for the continued support and helping me do what i love for a living!
Now I will retreat to my bed with my gnome socks and a coffee to watch a Muppet Christmas Carol, and i suggest you do the same! Merry Christmas!

X -
Nat

Fall Projects

2011-11-29T14:53:00.000-08:00

Hello friends!
I have tons of projects i have been involved in lately, and they are beginning to take full bloom.

Branches has their first full-length record coming out! We are so excited!
We have been hard at work on this for a long time, and the songs have changed about 20 times each (haha), but we can't wait to show everyone what we've been working on. It will be out and available on bancamp, Itunes and pressed in January 2012, so stay tuned! We are also releasing our single "Helicopter" in December 2011, and hopefully filming a music video for it as well.

We continue to film our cover of the months and our most recent is 'Somebody to Love' by Justin Beiber. While not our first choice for a cover, we left the vote up to you! And you chose Beiber. You asked for it. So check it out!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BskooRufLBI&feature=related

We will also have 2 FREE christmas songs that we've just recorded and will be released on bandcamp in the next few days!

and finally , we've just been signed to position music as a new artist! They are a music licensing company and involved in other various industry things. They are so wonderful and kind and have been so supportive of us thus far. We are working closely with them and Mark Chipello (Tyrone Wells tour manager and drummer) to get some new performances, TV and movie placements, etc.

Check it out! We are on the homepage as a new artist signing!
http://positionmusic.com/

To stay updated with us go on our facebook band page!
_________________________________________

The Wild Reeds are also hard at work! We have a website that will be launched December 1st that looks amazing! Thanks to our friend Brian Dibble.

With the website we will release our christmas songs we recorded a few months ago. They are live sessions and we can't wait to release them!

We also continue to write our new album and are planning for the future and whats next. We've been talking to a few industry people about music placement and management so stay tuned!

Catch us this winter before we the distance comes between us again for a bit!
Dec. 28th at Villain's Tavern

In Los Angeles and check our facebook page for constant updates.
__________________________________________

For other various projects, i have been working closely with Robert Delong for a while now, and many exciting things are happening for him! He is now with a management company and is working with producer Bill Racine who has worked with artists such as The Flaming Lips, Modest Mouse, Gym Class Heroes, Rogue Wave, etc. I had the privilege to go to Bill's studio in L.A. and record on "Some Perfect" with Robbie and it sounds amazing!

Robbie is working on re-recording yet another version of his album "Just Movement" and you can keep up with him on his facebook page.

http://www.facebook.com/RobertDeLongMusic?sk=app_178091127385

Meanwhile, listen to his newest collaboration with Racine, here, shared by KROQ:
Robert DeLong - Happy by KROQ

and DON'T MISS Robbie's performances. They are incredible. Dec. 5th, 12th, and 19th at the Galaxy Theatre in Santa Ana. 18+. only $5 at the door. 21+ free! I will be joining him Dec. 5th and 12th.

___________________________________________

Another project I just finished working on was lending some harmonies to Taylor Broughton! He is going to release his EP in the coming months and it sounds great! His style is reminiscent of Brett Dennen, Ryan Adams, and Noah Gundersen. I'll keep you posted on the EP when it is released.

___________________________________________

Phewf. That's about it for now. Somewhere in between all of this i fit school and travelling to San Francisco. But i wouldn't have it any other way!

peace and warmth,
X
-N

"Darling" video released!

2011-11-11T14:11:00.000-08:00

Filmed by Brian Marsh at a lovely hidden room in the Claremont Colleges.

Enjoy!
x

Darling (Live Performance) - The Wild Reeds from Brian Y. Marsh on Vimeo.

Fall/Winter

2011-11-10T11:04:00.001-08:00

Well! It has been some time since i have written.
I was so lucky enough to have my class get out early and i am forcing myself to not think about any schoolwork and take some time to catch up on things that i love.This semester, the struggle between schoolwork and survival mode has been prominent.
I want to put effort into my classes and i want to learn! I have amazing classes and professors, but circumstances outside of school keep creeping in, forcing me to go into survival mode perpetuating my thoughts of "school isn't the most important thing right now" and it's really not, considering all that is happening in my life.But it still needs to be, and that is my constant struggle.

As far as an update on my life goes, I have been traveling quite a bit for my music. Also, it doesn't hurt that Greg is up in San Francisco as well. I think it would be safe to say I am gone two weekends out of each month. It's great! But i have had no time to be creative in that time. A Few things have crept out of me because i just NEEDED to write something, but other than that, i haven't had time to create because i'm traveling for the things I've created. Another strange struggle. Regardless, it seems Northern California has become a second home. I know my way around pretty well now, and the I-5 and Southwest are my new norms. I am blessed with the ability to travel, and funds, but it does get waring. I have my favorite places though, in the city! Farm:table coffee is a must in the city, it's on Post and Jones in Downtown. Mars Vintage in Berkeley is another must. And many sourdough bread bowls have been eaten as well as pasta from Colosseo in North Beach. Cafe's are frequented and iced latte's are constantly fueling my body, and City Light Bookstore always brings warmth and peace. It is a new life i am getting used to, but so far, i am trying to take everything with grace and ease.

Things are pressing forward with music, much quicker than anticipated! The Wild Reeds are talking to a management company and recently sold out a show with Ben Henderson in San Jose. Branches recently sold out their Hotel Cafe show with Tyrone Wells and also signed with Position Music for Music Licensing, and we also got another song, "Sleeper" on One Tree Hill! Hopefully we will be able to get on commercials and different shows with this new contract.

I have not been able to create any tangible art recently. I have an etsy started up, but it is hard to maintain. But most of my creative art energy has been put into creating a lovely home with my 5 other roomates in my Townhouse in the Los Angeles suburbs.

The year has been strange, and a bit shaky at the start off, but i feel stabilization coming. I just hope it comes soon!
X

-N

"snow" by Ann Beattie

2011-10-03T19:39:00.001-07:00

An incredible short story by Ann Beattie. Enjoy!

“Snow” by Ann Beattie

I remember the cold night you brought in a pile of logs and a chipmunk jumped off as you lowered your arms. “What do you think you’re doing in here?” you said, as it ran through the living room. It went through the library and stopped at the front door as though it had knew the house well. This would be difficult for anyone to believe, except perhaps as the subject of a poem. Our first week in the house was spent scraping, finding some of the house’s secrets, like wallpaper under wallpaper. In the kitchen, a pattern of white-gold trellises supported purple grapes as big and round as ping-pong balls. When we painted the walls yellow, I thought of the bits of grape that remained underneath and imagined the vine popping though, the way some plants can tenaciously push though anything. The day of the big snow , when you had to shovel the walk and couldn’t find your cap and asked me how to wind a towel so that it would stay on your head-you, in the white towel turban, like a crazy king of snow. People liked the idea of our being together, leaving the city for the country. So many people visited, and the fireplacemade all ofthem wabt to tell amazing stories; the child who happened to be standing on the right corner when the door of the ice cream truck came open and hundreds of popsicles crashed out; the man standing on the beach, sand sparkling in the sun, one bit glinting more than the rest, stooping to find a diamond ring. Did they talk about amazing things because they thought we’d turn into one of them? Now I think they probably guessed it wouldn’t work. It was as hopeless as giving a child a matched cup and saucer. Remember the night out on the lawn, knee deep in snow, chins pointed at the sky as the wind whirled down all that whiteness? It seemed that the world had been turned upside down, and we were looking into an enormous feild of Queen Anne’s lace. Later, headlights off, our car was the first to ride through the newly fallen snow. The world outside the car looked solarized.

You remember it differently. You remember that the cold settled in stages, that small curve of light was shaved from the moon night after night, until you were no longer surprised the sky was black, that the chipmunk ran to hide in the dark, not simply to a door that ledto its escape. Our visitors told the same stories people always tell. One night, giving me a lesson in story telling, you said, “Any life will seem dramatic if you omit mention of most of it.”
This, then, for drama: I drove back to that house not long ago. It was April, and Allen had died. In spite of all the visitors, Allen, next door, had been the good friend in bad times. I sat with his wife in their living room, looking out the glass doors to the backyard, and there was Allen’s pool, still covered with black plastic that had been stretched across it for winter. It had rained, and as the rain fell, the cover collected more and more water until it finally spilled onto the concrete. When I left that day, I drove past what had been our house. Three or four crocuses were blooming in the front – just a few dots of white, no field of snow. I felt embarassed for them. They couldn’t compete.

This is a story, told the way you say stories should be told: Somebody grew up, fell in love, and spent a winter with her lover in the country. This, of course, is the barest outline, and futile to discuss. It’s as pointless as throwing birdseed on the ground while snow still falls fast. Who expects small things to survive when even the largest get lost? People forget years and remember moments. Seconds and symbols are left to sum things up: the black shroud over the pool. Love, in its shortest form, becomes a word. What I remember about all that time is one winter. The snow. Even now, saying “snow,” my lips move so that they kiss the air.

No mention has been made of the snowplow that seemed always to be there, scraping snow off our narrow road- an artery cleared, though neither of us could have said where the heart was.

Maps of Wars - Branches (Live)

2011-09-16T09:59:00.000-07:00

Our travels took us to Monterey. After being in a car with gassy mike for 6+ hours (love ya mike), we were anxious and ready to play for our first show in 5 months!
Here is some live video footage of "Maps of Wars", which was featured earlier this year on "One Tree Hill"
Enjoy!

"Maps Of Wars" - Branches from Josh Harney on Vimeo.

A big thank you to Josh Harney for the video!

In Studio

2011-08-30T19:35:00.000-07:00

"Just Waiting for You to Come"
In Studio in San Luis Obispo
the Cal Poly college station were wonderful hosts to us!

Anatomy of Sound - Oak Tree's Song

2011-08-06T16:18:00.000-07:00

I filmed this almost a year ago with my great friends Matt Starcher and Aaron (Edd) Flynn. They collectively put together live video performances of upcoming artists and i was so honored to be able to take part! This song will be on the new record. Audio - Matt Starcher. Visual/Camera - Edd Flynn

Please check out the rest of Aaron's amazing work on vimeo!
What a talent!
Enjoy!
X

-N

Anatomy of Sound IV from Edd Flynn on Vimeo.

Concert in the Garden - 8 part series

2011-08-06T16:12:00.000-07:00

Check out The Reeds 8 part live concert in the garden!
Olives were falling all over us (and my glockenspiel)
Enjoy!
X

- N

Filmed by Brian Marsh

Part 1:

The Wild Reeds - Concert in the Garden - Part (1 of 8) from Brian Y. Marsh on Vimeo.

follow the link's to see the rest of the vids

The Wild Reeds - Surfer Boy

2011-08-06T16:10:00.000-07:00

Covering "Surfer Girl" by The Beach Boys
Filmed Fall '10
(I've lost that dress. A pity, cause i liked it!)

Enjoy!
X

-N

The Wild Reeds - St. Louis Blues

2011-08-06T16:08:00.000-07:00

A cover of The Boswell Sisters - St. Louis Blues
Filmed live in January 2011 in Golden Gate Park - SF
Enjoy!
X

-N

"Cabin" videos - Branches

2011-08-06T15:58:00.000-07:00

These are videos with Branches made November 2010 for "Cabin", but i thought it would be good to get some videos up here of my projects!
Enjoy!

Filmed by: Kelly Boitano

Stay updated with our songs of the month!
We choose a cover to do every month and post it on our youtube channel:
Soundslikebranches
X

-N

Website soon!

2011-08-06T15:54:00.000-07:00

Hello friends!
I come to you excited about some new projects! One is my new website that will be launched soon i hope! Greg just set it up for free and it looks wonderful! My blog will feed into it for live updates, you can stream all of my music endeavors on there, you can see photos, and get dates for shows! This will be wonderful! As i am involved with many projects and it will be great to keep everyone updated on them! Thank you for everyone's support on everything! It's amazing to feel the love and support and you guys keep me doing what i love! X

- N

CLOUDS video - FINISHED!

2011-07-18T15:52:00.000-07:00

After a long awaited debut, the music video for our song "Clouds" is officially released.
By Bryan Marsh!

The video is representative of how everything goes up. Our conversations, friendships, everything that we do always is orchestrated by God, so it's mostly a sort of a spiritual meaning to the song and video. The main girl is the "proof" we are singing about in the song. Enjoy!

Post St.

2011-07-05T20:09:00.000-07:00

A video for the poem i wrote in the previous post.
Poem, Video, and Music by yours truly.
Hope you enjoy!

theprsnlprjct.com

2011-06-22T20:04:00.000-07:00

That sweet boy of mine has done it again.
Here is his newest art project:

http://theprsnlprjct.com/

- N

post st.

2011-06-21T00:52:00.000-07:00

Walking down Post to meet you at noon for lunch. We ordered a latte and some sandwiches at Café Madeleine,
while we were entranced by the archaic buildings blocking the sunlight from our faces.
We talked about the city and watched the people roam aimlessly looking for which direction to find some sense or form of validation in one way or another.
Everything was at peace and calm, though the city was delusive and restless devouring some and completely amazing others.
Passing me on the way to meet you was a red tour bus, with tourists wanting to take in the city from the top of the double decker.
They looked down at me with their sunhats and cameras ready to capture anything.
What brought them here?
Some are looking to get away from their lives, trying to escape and live vicariously through the locals of the city
Others, roaming the streets walking in direct lines, avoiding eye contact with all human forms wanting to get from point A to point B with little to no interaction, missing everything that can help them grow.
Maybe they are walking home from work, or walking home from the bar after an afternoon pick me up, or walking to it looking to drown their sorrows in a bottle of gin.
Some are wondering where to sleep that night, or wondering where there next fix will come from and when, completely at the will of the drugs.
Others are feeling a complete sense of freedom being surrounded by something completely new and foreign feeling a sense of ecstasy from wandering around, letting the city guide them.
They take the buildings by the hand and give up all forms of control to the flow of the breeze.
I came here, travelling to play music, only passing through on my way up to Portland.
But truly, I couldn’t wait to sit with you and laugh with you.
I look at the people just as they look at me, wondering who I am and what has brought me to this city.
They look at me, not knowing I haven’t seen you in weeks or knowing my emotional state. And maybe if they did they’d be more polite.
But we have all come to the city looking for something or looking for the city to give to us.
Rather, we should come to the city with open arms looking to give our stories to the city.
We should embrace it and all that’s within it and make love to it.
We should embrace all of it’s people and all of it’s life and add too it.
What is a city without people to fill it?
It is only concrete walls with streets that are cold and windy.
Throw yourself onto the city, and give all that you can.
It is one of the few things that is ours.

Onwards!

2011-06-19T08:10:00.000-07:00

Hello friends!
I am currently sitting in the airport of Portland, OR. Portland is absolutely wonderful! Everything is beautiful. Literally nothing is janky or ugly and if it is, you can't tell. It was the last stop on the Wild Reeds tour for our show. We completed 9 shows from June 11th to June 19th. It feels amazing to say you've completed your first FULL LENGTH west coast tour (Branches had a baby one over spring break, and another full length soon!) I have wonderful memories everywhere i have gone and the beautiful part about it is, is that the girls and I each have different perceptions of what just took place and i went off on my own as well as them having their own individual time as well. Roaming the streets of San Francisco, witnessing the sadness of the tenderloin, milkshakes and french fries at two in the morning. Sitting in Union Square in the quiet of the night, haight and ashbury, coffee shops, walking to meet Greg from work and seeing the big red double decker tourist bus wondering what brought them all to San Francisco, and to them, wondering about my story and what brought me to San Fransisco. Driving to Portland in our bras (kinsey and I that is), Faerieworlds festival (!!!), so many kind people, great food and cafes, vintage shops, arguments, laughter, frustration, happiness, and love. I have felt a wide range of emotions on this tour and it's surreal to be going to back to my little house in Upland. Life will continue to move on, just as the people's lives we've encountered and stayed with will go on. It is a weird thought. But one thing is for sure, for the amount of times i have been up and down California's beautiful coast, this one has definitely been the most memorable. Pictures will follow soon.
appréciez le jour!
-N

Peel

2011-06-06T11:04:00.001-07:00

Peel

In all of my journeys none have ever taken me here.
I have been stretched and pulled like jam over to much bread,
but then I remember that that is what growth feels like.
I remember that homes are not made of the walls we have built,
but the bonds and ties that we’ve created with the human race.
Memory may be held in a room, but what is a room without
laughter to fill it? Or even sorrow?
Time is ever - pending and always in motion,
it can never be stopped, nor will it ever be.
It is easy to write these words, but not feeling the blade of
reality pierce through the skin, only enough to let the blood
flow out slowly, is impossible.
Seeing the relationships that have faded, or the one’s that have
just sprung is a layer of the skin that we constantly shed.
‘Our hearts are strange little oranges to peel’*
We are all pulling back the pieces of our skin,
some weathered and torn, others, pulling back the skin
that they had just re-birthed. It’s inevitable, but necessary,
for the growth of the human heart and mind.
But often, we must endure pain and sorrow before the morning comes.
We must understand that one loves wholly, and to love fully and completely
means to rejoice when others rejoice, and weep when others weep.

*A line taken from Annie Clark's (St. Vincent) - "Human Racing"

Lisa, Lisa, you've done it again

2011-03-14T13:06:00.000-07:00

Lisa Hannigan is my main influence lyric wise, and musically. I most definitely do not want to be her, nor am i trying to be, but i respect her so much because of the fact that she creates all of these parts, writes all her music (including lyrics), and is a strong independent woman, and still performs in heels [:)] The way that she thinks about things, is how i think about things, and i didn't notice that before, i think we just have similar ways of approaching music. She is such a light and such a joy and so positive and working her way through this industry. She's incredibly creative with the way that she does things and organizes things, as a bit will be seen in this video. Just wanted to share this video update she put on her Tumblr, i would die to go record in a place like this! Stay tuned for her new album, it's going to be so bad-ass.

Fever and Nausea

2011-03-13T16:09:00.001-07:00

Hello!
Unfortunately, it takes sickness for me to slow down, I still have a lot to do, so i'm still feeling a bit of stress and pressure, but the good news is my fever broke a few minutes ago, so i'm feeling conscious again. Had to push through performing at a private party with the reeds, feeling nauseas and feverish. Had no choice! We were getting paid! But i made it through, and am catching up on sleep. I've begun working on Kristine and I's Etsy and business for selling at craft fairs. I'm thinking of names, and most of them have to do with nature, i really like Sparrow's Hollow, or The Oak and The Fern, or maybe Willow Wolf, and maybe A Tall Tale. We are working on getting a seller's permit from the IRS and hope to sell at the winter Patchwork festival of 2011. The link is on the right under some of my favorite websites.
In addition to trying to be productive with that, these are some things that are inspiring me lately.

Also, John Tenniel's original illustrations from Alice in Wonderland

School is great, but i'm behind on a lot of work, but i'm loving my classes. In Romanticism we're focusing on William Wordsworth and Coleridge for about 4 weeks, and music is going wonderfully. Recording a ton and continuing to write. Branches is recording our 3rd E.P. and talking with a few people in Los Angeles about licensing and publishing. The Wild Reeds are going to play in a few weeks when Kinsey is down for Spring Break, and I am still recording with Matt for me solo project. And continuing to write. I had the honor of performing with my good friend Robert DeLong (whose music is also to the right in the links section) at the launch of Artless Fiction records. Matt started artless fiction with the lovely Laura Peters. Two incredibly creative people that i admire and love, stay updated with their monthly shows here:
http://www.artlessfiction.com/home.html

Also, some exciting news, Robbie and I are making a record together. Electronic, dance, trance, dubstep. Maybe 6 songs i think.
Here is some footage of performing with Robbie!

Bientot!
-natalie

January 14, 2011

2011-01-14T13:11:00.001-08:00

Hello! I hope your holidays brought warmth and peace this Christmas! It was a busy holiday for me, not much of a break, but very fun, nonetheless. School has started up again, and i never seem ready or prepared, always trying to keep my head up above the water just enough to breathe, but it is really nice to see everyone again. I hadn't gotten to be outside on my own much over the holidays, because of music things and performances and rehearsals; but it's one of my favorite things to do. I took a walk to a gem of a little place, an organic garden hidden about 700 feet in some nature, i discovered it a while ago and go back to sit and meditate often. It was a warm, beautiful day and the gardens are just beginning to recover from the cold, the plants are waking up and the leaves are beginning to change, and the vegetable plants are starting to grow again too! The chickens weren't out though, unfortunately.
As i walked, i was thinking about a number of things. Fear, being a woman and self - sufficient, and inter-human communication and how it's lacking. I was talking to a close friend of mine, Matt, last night and we always get in the best conversations. He was talking about a book that i forgot the name of, but the idea presented in the book was so perfectly described. It was about fear, and how it is like standing on the edge of a cliff. We all have some sort of decision in our life that is terrifying, or weighing on our shoulders, and for a bit, we think about falling off of the cliff, or jumping. Regardless of death, it would alleviate the burden of the fear of the decision, so we end up giving in. and falling. for the burden of the decision to be gone. It seems like such a simple idea, and almost common sensical, but so real and applicable. So many things in my life were defined by this simple idea, and thinking about half of the things, most of them were worth struggling for.
Alas, realizing this now, something that i knew, but didn't really peg, it seems a breath of fresh air has been breathed and i let out one huge exhale. And now with no good transition apparent, my cousin and I have decided to start a booth at some craft fairs. It will be really great to work with her and be creative with her. We are so different in so many ways, but so similar it's uncanny. I will post more information as i find things out, but we will mostly sell homemade candles, headbands, pillows, knit bags, pins, wind chimes, and things a long that nature. I'm going to try to convince her to make some prints of her photographs as well, as she is a wonderful photographer. Salut for now.

P.S. Here is a great recipe I have been making a lot! It's delicious and makes beautiful leftovers, and so easy to make.

You'll need:
Pasta
tomato chunks
asparagus
butter
olive oil
salt and pepper
basil

bree cheese
sourdough bread

I don't tend to use measurements when cooking, but, i don't think it's a necessity, when making this

Bring the water to a boil and pour the pasta in, i forget the brand name, but i bought some beautiful pasta from Italy
Have another pan of water boiling to cook the asparagus
Once the pasta is finished cooking, strain it, and put it back into the pan
Add as much butter as you like, just enough to coat the pasta
Same with the olive oil, not too much
Mix it around, then add salt and pepper, and basil (I grow my own basil and wash it, and chop it up and put it in)
Once the asparagus is done, remove it from the pan and chop it up into bite size pieces, and throw it in the pasta
After all of that, empty the tomato chunks into a pan (they are just peeled not diced), and heat them up a bit to soften them a bit, 3 minutes is all they need
Take the tomatoes and pour them over the pasta, and mix it all together, and they will break up on their own

Magnifique! pasta is finito!

Bree cheese is my favorite, and it goes really well with this pasta
Grab a fresh sourdough bread and chop it into bite size pieces
Put them on a baking pan, and dab a bit of olive oil onto each bread
Cut up a slice of bree cheese for each bread, and put it in the broiler (or oven), just to melt the cheese and toast the bread
After about 5 minutes it should be done!

I hope, if you do actually make this, that you enjoy!

Also, listen to my good friend Robert DeLong

and Laura Marling, is magical!

wrinkles and lines

2010-12-21T14:17:00.000-08:00

Hello friends!
I am so joyful, because i have just finally made a bit of progress. I had been working on this song for about a month, and the melody always changed, and the chord progression too, and it was so infuriating that i couldn't finish it! But alas, i think it is finally finished. It's in the form of a parable sort of, and there are instrumentals between each of the verses. I'm quite pleased with it, i think. And i'm hoping to write more as well! The only problem is, is the album isn't really flowing together stylistically i mean, so i think it may have to be divided into two, which is fine. It may be neat to see how that turns out. Anyway, it's raining a ton, and i love it! It's beautiful! I've been forced in doors, which is fine, leaving more time to write and craft. I must get going on all my presents, i'm running out of time! But I'll leave you with a few pictures of one of my favorite places to spend time, of course, when it isn't raining. Before the rain came, i was inseparable!

There once lived an old man his wrinkles worn and proud
Alone he sat and thought of tales, his mind lost in a shroud
The things he’d said and done were gone, the lines had run their course
He wondered why he sat alone, and others showed no remorse

One day when he was young he went to sit ‘neath the oak tree
There he saw a bright young flow’r, dancing with the breeze
He plucked it up and pulled the petals off one by one
Until there was no more, but bulb, withering under the sun

Years later he returned to the same giant tree
the dandelion stood strong and mighty until it caught the breeze
The wind blew strong, it was strong and proud, no mercy in it’s brush
The stem broke and fell, the petals strewn and crushed

The old man shrugged and sighed and thought of what he had seen
He never paid attention to any human beings
All the words he’d said were glorifying him with pride
Ignoring all the growth he could have gained if only he tried

I can't stop listening to Joanna Newsom.
and i've also re-discovered my love for The Swell Season and Damien Rice.
Salut!

procrastination at it's finest

2010-12-12T14:35:00.000-08:00

...but at least i am thinking, right? I should be writing a paper now, due at 10pm tonight, and i am working on it. It is an exegetical paper. The papers that i hate the most, and it's awful that i do, but i do. It is really interesting though. It's about David's sin he commits with Bathsheba and how one sin led to another which eventually led to murder. It's so strange, I have heard this passage a myriad of times, but this time, everything seems very real. It had always seemed so distant. It's hard for stories in the bible to seem real and applicable because they so long ago, or in my case, I've heard them so many times i become numb to what they are saying, or whatever the reason. But i was reading a commentary on the passage and i came across this paragraph that was really interesting.
"Over the decades, American culture has fallen prey to the lie that our highest human fulfillment is partially attainable through self- indulgent , unrestrained erotic expression rather than through faithful, enduring, monogamous love. But this falsehood is as old as human civilization itself, and this text (2 Samuel 11-12) reveals the ancient lie for what it is. David surrenders impulsively to his most basic instincts, which lead him down a path that grows darker with each step. Rather than reaching his highest level of personal fulfillment. David discovers the darkness of his own soul. Likewise, instead of enabling us to reach our highest human fulfillment, reckless and illicit eroticism ensnares us in animalistic self-destruction It is a hopeless cycle that ends only and always in death (Prov. 7: 21-23,27)" - Arnold
This is a bit harsh. but blunt. but with good reason. Interpret this as you will for yourself, i am not saying any particular thing. I am just putting the quote out there because it's really interesting how much value is placed on sexual pleasure, even aside from religious interjections on the subject matter. Like it makes you more of a person if you are sexually active or not, which is absolutely and completely false. The same could go for drugs. I think it's so funny that you are looked at as a higher human being or "cooler" or more "cultured" if you have experienced these things. I am trying to keep this pretty neutral, as i am not interjecting any sort of "this is bad or evil" or trying to preach to you, because i am not in the least. I think the evil part of it all is how much importance is placed on something because it makes you more of human being because you choose to partake in those things. Societies perceptions of things and each other and how the human brain places importance on certain things is so interesting! It's really great to look at why we do the things we do. People are people, one is not better than the other because of any certain reason. Sure, people believe different things, and that's one of the great things about humans, is that we can. But I think we, as a society, have really fallen short of respect.

Temporarily Safe

2010-11-25T23:17:00.000-08:00

Hello all!
I am eagerly working on my solo material, writing when i can here and there. I'm not really forcing anything, i never have been able to, so creativity is coming in spurts. I am writing a lot of songs, but they just aren't coming out like i would like, so i would rather have more material to choose from than just throw everything together on a record. I really would like this one to be good. For the lyrics, i'm trying to document experiences in my life and turn them into situations and lessons for humankind. Like parables, sort of. It's hard for me though, because so many different styles of writing influence me, it's hard to make everything flow and interconnect nicely. What usually flows naturally is romantic (the time period not love) lyrics, telling some sort of story or that's a parallel for something in my life, but then other lyrics of mine are so straightforward because sometimes i would just like to be blunt about a situation and not coat the words with an immense vocabulary and dreamy-esque words. This is a song i'm working on currently, it's interesting, but i think i like it. No title yet. If you have suggestions, please let me know!

We couldn’t stay in this place
Time made us fools and spun us out of place

Vision blurred, facedown on pavement
we kept each other warm
Lifelessness come from your lips
Kissing the breath of the breathless

Christmas lights bright on the rain – covered porch
Take off my muddy boots and the coat that you wore

Temporarily safe,
our jocund hearts beat as one
Move to the sound of the drum
Move to the sound of the drum

Joy

2010-11-09T23:57:00.000-08:00

some photos from the weekend...

Cabin.

2010-11-07T12:40:00.000-08:00

Hello my friends!
I am writing from a cabin in Santa Cruz. Cabin is a BRANCHES project that we've been planning for a bit,
and it's finally happened! We came up to record an 3 song EP, available for digital download later this month, and a couple Christmas songs for the season, as well as two live videos from the forest and cabin.We are leaving in about 5 hours to go back to Azusa, but we are finishing up some final things, percussion, vocals and such.

The rain is falling and it's so peaceful and wonderful,
in the middle of a lush, green forest! A dream come true! I would absolutely adore living in a place like this, or have always dreamed so rather. As i sip my coffee and listen to the indian flute being played badly, and some tinkering on the melodica, the rain falling, perfect afternoon light, and someone still sleeping in the living room next room over (cough cough, tyler goerzen), i feel so at peace and warm.

Despite my mass amounts of homework and things to do, this is my natural habitat. Friendship, creative energy, music, great food and company, hikes through the forest, skipping rocks at the creek, laughs, rain, sleeping till noon, taking deep breaths, and experiencing with the people you love the most, close by. This is my home and joy, and sadly, i've had it rarely this year.

I am working on writing my solo album as we speak, i have enough songs written to record, but i am not quite satisfied yet. With the help of my wonderful friends Matt Starcher and Jacob Montague, i will start recording as soon as i feel it's complete enough to record. I've recorded two albums and never spent the proper time meditating on it, and really making sure it has a specific purpose.

I will include some pictures in here soon from this wonderful trip!
Au Reviour!

Feels like home.

2010-09-19T16:47:00.000-07:00

Well hello!
I haven't written an update in some time!
Mostly just checking in to say that
english lit is a really fun major.
It's a lot of work, and A LOT of reading,
but i knew that. and it's been really interesting.
It meets all of my needs artistically and mentally.
A lot of my classes involve music and art and learning
about those subjects as well too, so, so far, it's been great!
I must say, i am ready to be done, with classes.
Not friendships or the community though.
I will truly miss every experience, good and bad,
i've had so far.

I have learned so much about myself though, already!
It's great!
I've been called out on some things as well,
and it's been really hard to hear them,
but i'm trying to accept them with grace.
That's the thing i've learned is that i often have
trouble taking criticism or any sort of help (it may have
some correlation between having a hard outer shell or something)
but only from certain people.
But i am slowly learning, and working!

In other news, Branches EP, "O, Light!" has
become available on Itunes! It's only 5 dollars!
And The Wild Reeds are as well! "Songs for the Morning,
Afternoon, and Evening."

I will leave you with a few pictures.
Just one of many wonderful evenings with the people i love!
This is what i thrive off of. It's just so perfect. And it feels like home.

Surreal!

2010-09-05T14:05:00.000-07:00

The Glass House show was so surreal!
To know that i was standing on the stage as so many amazing artists,
like Conor Oberst, and Snoop Dog (hehe) AND Tyrone Wells (he was so nice and gracious to us!)
It was an amazing experience and i will never, EVER forget
the amount of love and support that was there.
Here's some relatively good quality videos from the night if you missed it!

The Inventor's Daughter:

I Believe in a Thing Called Love:

Dust and Light:

Jeroboam:

Maps of Wars:

ALSO here is our cover of the month for August. The Sound of Silence by Simon & Garfunkel

Humble Hearts; Prideful Gazes

2010-08-20T17:15:00.001-07:00

He works through the humblest of hearts,
and only then can He be seen
You take a deep breath and fill up your chest
with the praise and the pride of the world
Yet your insecure heart can't bear to carry
the weight of what you pushed away in hopes
of an artificial feeling of freedom for the validation
of false hopes.

He will work through your pride, only to cause
your downfall to tame the beast that lives
and grows with every kiss from the world.
I can only hope that your heart grow weary
with the struggles to come, placed upon yourself
by your own choosing.
And i hope, at the end of your ropes,
you choose to feel the feeling of life.
And the warm breeze once again grazing your cheeks
And the comfort of a mothers heartbeat
And the feeling of a full belly after a warm meal.
And love.
Yes, love. What a joy it is to be in His arms and feel such love!

He never left. and will never harm you.

realization

2010-08-15T12:59:00.000-07:00

A couple of my dreams have come true.
they both just hit me so hard right now.
I get to play at Hotel Cafe AND the Glass House!?

God is blessing me in so many insane ways,
and i just love it so much.
I give no credit to myself.

and he is finally done!

2010-08-11T17:43:00.001-07:00

"The Old Man and The Accordian"

I just recently finished this painting i'd been working on, on and off this summer. I have to say i am quite pleased with it!
I'm going to be making some prints of this, and the other moon painting i posted a few posts ago, and am going to sell them for $10 each, so if you would like one, then send me an email!
natalie.nicoles8@gmail.com

Summer's End

2010-08-05T00:31:00.000-07:00

This summer has been a summer of so much growth!
It's been great, but it's most definitely different.
It feels very.....foreign.
Anyway, i'm trying to embrace change. Usually i hold onto the past.
Which usually works against me. But now, I'm slowly adjusting to
a new life, new views. It's like a view on the world has been opened or
something, it's strange. And i encourage you to, as well.
Optimism is always, ALWAYS the way to go. Be thankful for everything and humble yourself
to every thing and everyone, no one person is greater than the other, and this is
what i have always tried to live by.
The minute you put up those walls, you loose. There is something to gain from everyone,
whether they make good choices or bad, do not call them evil and spit on them.
Instead, sit down, and listen. It's a pleasant surprise. I have always forced myself to do this
even when judgement is easier. It's hard, but it's worth it.

Enjoy the day! It's a gift, and so are the people in the world.

working on...

2010-06-29T21:43:00.000-07:00

Just an Oil on Watercolor paper
Only the first layer of paint...but i'm excited about this one!

2010-06-25T11:56:00.000-07:00

I can't believe i let myself get caught up in the leash.
What a letdown.

fick·le [fik-uhl]
–adjective
1. likely to change, esp. due to caprice, irresolution, or instability; casually changeable: fickle weather.
2. not constant or loyal in affections: a fickle lover.

wooz·y [woo-zee, wooz-ee]
–adjective, wooz·i·er, wooz·i·est.
1. stupidly confused; muddled: woozy from a blow on the head.

Im not sure you know who you are,
and you probably are blind to the fact it is you.
but that's alright.
I've caught myself on the leash,
and now, it's been cut.
Your heart is real fickle, and it's made my head woozy.

Au Revior!

Wounds are still fresh

2010-06-17T17:20:00.000-07:00

"I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times.
But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to
do with the time that is given us."

Etsy

2010-06-09T13:24:00.000-07:00

The Etsy account is now OPEN
feel free to browse

http://www.etsy.com/shop/Eledwhen

The title is Eledwhen, which is elvish for light.
My solo album is also being sold in the store
buy it!

Some things i'm working on...

2010-05-24T17:43:00.000-07:00

Hello friends!
It has been a while since i have written.
Summer is wonderfully relaxing, but
in my heart i do miss my friends and my C6 home.
Alas, i am keeping myself busy working
on paintings and things to sell (since no one has
decided to hire me anywhere)
here are some things i'm working on...

This was eventually turned into a clock, which is now ticking on my wall. I must give credit to Rima Staines, as it is her moon that inspired mine and her idea of the clock on wood.
Acrylic on wood

this one was just completed and
is for sale! It is now a clock as well.
"Into the Forest"
$30

These are the Cd cases/packaging for The Wild Reeds album
that the girls and I are working hard to complete soon
"Songs for the morning, afternoon, and evening..."
myspace.com/thewildreeds

They will be lamps eventually, i'm working on finding the
attachment the light can hang on and make the bulb illuminate

Silly little picture frames, but they keep me busy

FOR SALE (eventually)
i have to fix the strings, and i may add a bit
more paint, i also have to seal it and restore
the color a bit, it faded just a bit
$75 for Oil on Canvas (hand built)
24X24

My album and hand sewn cases
$10 if you would like a copy
myspace.com/natalienicoles

for now, if you want to purchase any of these things, send me
an email:
natalie.nicoles08@gmail.com

I wish you all peace and warmth!

Here

2010-05-04T08:13:00.000-07:00

It is now, that i finally realize,
i don't want to be anywhere else in the world
but here.

WINTER MOON

2010-04-25T23:03:00.000-07:00

this is a song.
based off of the writing "away we go"
that i wrote earlier.

WINTER MOON

The winter moon shone dim upon the sea
I saw you underneath the gloom
The wind swept you backwards
while the world was pulling you
Onward the sea pressed
the ship was tossed and swarmed
I could see through the fog and clouds
a light bright o’er the hills

and we cried and we cried and we cried
that we’d be saved
and we cried and we cried and we cried
that we’d be spared

We turned around and sailed onward
different ways than those before
you were consumed in your own words
you were lost and torn in two
Cold and chilled, I sat and wept
my stomach dropped with deep regrets
then the waves pulled us under

so we tried to kick and swim

Death will not take us!

Away we go

2010-04-25T23:01:00.000-07:00

“Away we go!” we said “To sail the seas, and to brave the storms”
away we sailed into the abyss and unknowing, clinging to our hope
We found ourselves among the bright lights and swirling in the
seas of magic and love, with the ship dancing over the glistening sea
and the sun and the moon singing a long as the stars moved over the skies

Yet we still crept upon the dark, murky waters unknowing
waiting to be swallowed up by the tide and the tumultuous waves
they came, they came, they came, and they swept hard and unmerciful
We were swallowed with no remorse, then spit out by the tide.
There I sat and wept, cold and shivering
waiting for the warmth of arms to engulf me,
waiting, waiting, waiting to be heard and to sing my song
I only latched onto the shadow of a hope
and there I sat, and waited

Yet, I do not know my own strength,
I will not pin my soul upon yours,
I will not be the ground that you walk upon,
I will not wait for the validation that may never come,
I will not wait for a hope that hangs upon the breath from your lips

I am, and I shall be, forevermore.

The Winds will Blow

2010-04-25T22:55:00.000-07:00

i just wrote this one today...

The earth is spinning round and round
Mouths are moving, there’s no sound
the hearts are beating for the words
they’ll never hear
their all waiting for you, dear

the winds will blow
the clouds will come
hold on my dear,
the morn will come

On the grassy hill we sat
In silence watching people change
direction, for a life less tamed
the stars above held answers named

I remember you, with stories in your eyes
the life once lived, now plowed upon
you once had everything to say,
now, you have lost your way

Arthur Rackham, forests and the like

2010-04-10T22:28:00.000-07:00

I haven't written in a while.

Quite a lot has happened!
relationships have been strained, while others have strengthened,
Music projects are coming together nicely (The Wild Reeds, Branches),
I completed 60 hand-sewn cd cases for my own solo project music,
the title of the album is Eledwhen, which is elvish for light. (myspace.com/natalienicoles)

Classes are tough, my mind is never really fully engaged in them,
only a few. One in particular. My intro to lit class is wonderful, and
I have decided to declare English with a writing emphasis as my major!
I have to say i am pretty excited!
I will still be a full-time musician of course,
and selling my artwork and crafts with Jessica on the etsy account
we decided to open together.
but I can't wait to start writing and developing writing skills a bit further.
English and Art and Music are so closely intertwined i think it will fit quite nicely!

While sitting though lectures in my bible class, i tend to jot down
things i have been thinking of, or little ink sketches here and there.
Some thoughts that have crossed my mind:
-Immanuel Kant and his philosophies of right and wrong
-Society's need for instant gratification, and our short attention spans
- Secular Christianity (there is such a thing)
- Joy vs. Happiness
- Lamenting

All of these are pretty elaborate thoughts of course, so
i won't go into detail at the moment, but i'm sure they will appear
in later posts.

In other matters, lately, I've been loving and looking through
Arthur Rackhams illustrations. They are just breathtaking!
Wonderful images painted.

Of course Maurice Sendak is on the list as well, always.

and Rima Staines, my favorite!
She creates these wonderful fantastical images
and her oil and watercolors are incredible!

I urge you to go to her website:
http://www.the-hermitage.org.uk/and follow her blog as well! (The Hermitage)

More thoughts to come...

Also, listen to the swell season.
I have re-discovered why i first fell in love.

I leave you with a wonderful painting by Brueghal

2010-03-20T17:19:00.000-07:00

Je veux voir votre sourire
Je veux toucher votre visage
Vos yeux froissent quand ils rient

L'odeur de cigarettes
a tenu à vos cheveux
comme vous jouez votre guitare

je vous aime
je vous aime
je vous aime
mais adieu

Grasshoppers, and Bell Crickets, and Things

2010-03-04T12:04:00.000-08:00

Here is an excerpt from one of my favorite short stories.
What a great recollection of innocence and simple love!

"Fujio! Even when you have become a young man, laugh with pleasure at a girl’s delight when, told that it’s a grasshopper, she is given a bell cricket; laugh with affection at a girl’s chagrin when, told that it’s a bell cricket, she is given a grasshopper.

Even if you have the wit to look by yourself in a bush away from the other children, there are not many bell crickets in the world. Probably you will find a girl like a grasshopper whom you think is a bell cricket.

And finally, to your clouded, wounded heart, even a true bell cricket will seem like a grasshopper. Should that day come, when it seems to you that the world is only full of grasshoppers, I will think it a pity that you have no way to remember tonight’s play of light, when your name was written in green by your beautiful lantern on a girl’s breast."

-Yasunari Kawabata

Read the whole story here if you like...it's worth it i says.
http://merespace.wordpress.com/2008/08/27/the-grasshopper-and-the-bell-cricket/

Also, some beautiful poems i've read recently:

First Fig
My candle burns at both ends;
It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes and oh, my friends -
It gives a lovely light

- Edna St. Vincent Millay

Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

-Dylan Thomas

i'm trying

2010-02-20T18:58:00.001-08:00

I'm trying my best.
that's all i can do, i guess

_____________

2010-01-26T00:19:00.000-08:00

Everything seems to be melting.
Like an ice cube on the concrete on a hott summer day
under the blazing sun
I miss things.
Objects, people, places, feeling
I miss the touch of your skin against mine
The fragrant smell of your dirty locks,
The endless nights when the earth stood still
The smell of cigarettes burning, the sound
Of laughter and howls at the moon.
We were creatures of the night, and we
sailed away in the boat to the sea,
With music playing, the sea swaying,
and the creatures would sing in perfect
song and the beauty from above exposed.
My very veins pump blood to the tips of my fingers
Down to the crinkles of my toes at the sound of your
kind voice
“Hallelujah! Hallelujah! “ we cried,
“We have seen the light! For we have seen the light!”
_____________
Restless, I lie awake longing for more,
More memories, more hurt, fuel to my poor, poor soul.
“Ah humanity!” she cried. “What has happened to my world?!”

honestly

2010-01-19T19:06:00.000-08:00

i feel like a failure.

I am already too lackadaisical.
i'm just waiting for someone to pick up
my pieces for me, and do everything for me.
I am still an undeclared major and with
every person that asks me what i'm going to choose
comes more worry and distraught.

I don't know what to do.
I mean, this dilemma isn't exactly a "new"
worry or problem.
Lots of people don't know what to do and
don't know what they want to do with their lives,
and many of them often have this "crisis"
I have been strongly considering english as a major,
but honestly, i don't care what my major is anymore.
I know what i love and i am running with that.

I can't bring myself to put myself through the music program again.
They suck everything i love about music out of it.
emotion, feeling, love.
It made me love and appreciate music all the more.
I have so many loves, music is the top, and always will be,
AND i can't only focus on music, ALL the time.
it would drive me absolutely insane.
look at Mozart, he spent every day practicing and writing
and perfecting, it nearly sent him to his death bed.
I play music every day, but everything connects.
everything is interconnected, and there is so much
beauty to experience!

I just want to be.
With the people i love, the feelings i love,
helping the world and giving to people and showing Christ's love.
Maybe my priorities are upside down, but i can honestly say
i don't really care anymore. I know they are and I'm okay with it.
It's the only thing that keeps me sane.

But i am afraid i have overwhelmed myself again.
I am taking better classes this semester at least.
But a lot of them. I'm really excited for painting. it should be great.
and my Lit class too.

I'm singing with 5 bands, which is great, but a tough schedule.
but they are all very VERY talented and i am so blessed.
I have 3 jobs that are eating me alive,
i have found someone, someone in particular, who's company i thoroughly enjoy
I have some of the most wonderful people in my life,
music, and love, and life, and art, and creation all around me

I wouldn't have it any other way.
I may be confused, and i sure am scared,
but i'm learning to be comfortable being uncomfortable

and that's the biggest thing i have learned in my life so far.

Currently loving:
That's How Rhythm was Born - The Boswell Sisters
Just to Have You - Vetiver
Fantasie Impromptu - Frederic Chopin
Peach, Plum, Pear - Final Fantasy
Prenzlauerberg - Beirut
Snowy Atlas Mountains - Fionn Regan
For the Widows of Paradise - Sufjan Stevens
Comptine d'été no. 1 - Yann Tiersen

home home home!

2009-12-29T23:31:00.000-08:00

well, this break has been so wonderful.
busy, surprisingly, and i'm still not done
knitting and drawing presents, but
it's alright. late christmas presents are alright.
they are more like appreciation presents,
because my friends are so good to me and
i love to spoil them.

anyways, i have been getting things done
that have needed to be done (in my head, atleast)
like, winter cleaning, drawing, sleeping, reading,
Amelie Poulain, coffee and pastries,
amvets, pomona, music playing, and poetry writing,
hanging out with kinsey, and lauren, and jake, and sharon.
it has been wonderful.

Anyways, the point of this post was to say
that i am missing Europe terribly.
i was transferring information and old
pictures to my laptop and i was going through my
pictures of europe.
One of the most indescribable feelings is
waking up in paris. waking up early to go to the
grocery mart to grab a baguette and cheese
and sitting on the sidewalk sipping coffee, then
making your way to the artist clad streets
of monmartre.
I truly, was living in a dream, and couldn't wipe
the smile off of my face. i was there! i was alive,
in paris! completely in my element.

Not that i am not happy in Southern California,
i just, don't fit the style as well, i feel.
Everything so new and so industrialized and so
fast-paced and i have never been able to wrap
my head around any of that.

Ah, paris! and the streets of Oxford! and the fields
of Ireland! i will be home someday, mon amour!

woah.

2009-12-24T21:11:00.000-08:00

i just discovered possibly one of my new favorite songs.
lisa did a cover at her show at the troubadour,
just so beautiful and melodic and intense. bah!

so i just had to hear the original.
and it is so so good!
simple, beautiful lyrics. what a dream!

the song is called
"Couldn't love you more" by John Martyn

I urge you to listen to it.
here are the lyrics:

If you kissed the sun right out of the sky for me
And if you told me all the lies that I desire
And if you laid all night in the rain for me
Well, I couldn't love you more
I just couldn't love you more
I couldn't love you more

And if you loved me till my eyes gave no more shine for you
If you walked beside me all the long way home
If you wasted all of your time on me
Well, I couldn't love you more
I just couldn't love you more
I couldn't love you more

And if you gave me all the things I'd never ask of you
And if you showed me all the ways you have to cry
And if you laid all night in the rain for me
I couldn't love you more
I just couldn't love you more
Just couldn't love you more

enjoy!

alas! freedom has finally come

2009-12-15T23:34:00.000-08:00

I am not sure anyone can understand the amount of pressure
that is now off of my shoulders. temporarily at least.
Finals are over (which i don't care about nearly enough), the school year is coming to a close
and i am sick. very sick. but very happy.

I wrote a song i am very happy with,
i don't care if the melody is good
or the mandolin chords are strummed
correctly, i love the feeling it gives me when
i play it, and that's what i have been missing for far too long.

I get 3 or 4 weeks of temporary freedom.
I don't have to think about anything!
back to saturday morning flea markets,
knitting and crafting while enjoying some good earth
tea watching lord of the rings and amelie, discovering the new
creations of the hermitage and dreaming of my
adventures in europe.

sometimes i forget my world that i have created,
and now i can dive in again.

Though this semester held a lot of
stress for me, it came with amazing things
that i would stick out 100 more semesters just
to experience again. even with all the bumps.
New friends to join me on my adventure,
new music and songs, new creations, and a
new attitude.

As this semester closes, i will always, ALWAYS
remember the moments that i have had, that
i think i will leave unnamed just because
they are mine and i don't want to share them yet.
they are my experiences and my worldview and
my own self has been renewed from them.

I let my grades slip this semester, I learned that
i am really stubborn, afraid of males, should stick up
for myself more, and smarter than i give myself credit for,
but regardless, i have made friends that have changed my life,
made my home in a community that i thought i never would,
and learned how to trust in God and God alone.

I am thankful, and looking forward to rest.
Though i will miss the past, it is now behind us,
and i cannot WAIT to see what this next semester has
in store for me and everyone.

PS - listen to these. you'll love em.

Paris is Burning - St. Vincent
Actor out of Work - St. Vincent
Scythian Empires - Andrew Bird
La Noyee - Yann Tiersen
Festival - Sigur Ros
The Man i Love - Billie Holiday

Merry Chistmas!

movement

2009-11-20T00:31:00.000-08:00

We are moving
We are all moving
Time is progressing
the lights keep flickering
Yet the earth dare not move
beneath our feet, you and I

the quiet is sufficient
and into the infinite sea we sail
with all of our friends
the trumpeter, the pixie, and
the woman with the birds.
The pirate, the saint and the
song, the quiet song of love

She sits and hums her song
and waits her turn
she sits and waits for her
time to sing

Impatience

2009-11-15T23:48:00.000-08:00

I have got to be one of the most impatient people i know

I'm just waiting, and waiting, and waiting.

and nothing is happening.

maybe it's not supposed to.

maybe it is and i'm not waiting long enough.

maybe i'm the one who's supposed to do something about it.

or maybe i'm just supposed to wait.

waiting sucks.

scattered thoughts

2009-11-07T18:49:00.000-08:00

So, i picked up the new
Swell Season album at Rhino today
and i have to say i was kind of disappointed.
It breaks my heart to say that, because
they were the ones who opened my eyes to
a whole new world and they are so close to my heart.
I have seen them 3 times and met glen hansard (!!!)
two amazing souls.
Although they may not be the quirkiest music
or most "original" (whatever that means in todays time),
they are pure, sincere, and passionate and i will
always always always come back to them and their music.

The album art is great!

but i don't know...I'm just not feeling the songs
the way i felt the first album.
strange.

Second scattered thought -
In luke/acts the other day, i had an idea.
I was doodling in my bible, in one of my favorite
books, Psalms. I have no idea why we were reading
it (because i have lowered my expectation of that class
immensely since the first day of class) and i wasn't paying
attention. But while i was doodling, i started drawing
what the passages were saying or a character
or an object in the passage.
The idea popped in my head to illustrate the bible.
This sounds strange.
But with every verse i read, how awesome would it be
to have these great sketches next to the verses?
I will post some pictures soon of my progress so far.

I have a lot of projects i want to start/finish.
That is #1.

Here is the to - do list:
#2 - record some new songs for the CD
#3 - use all my old light bulbs for some cool art installation piece
#4 - finish sewing the CD slips
#5 - finish knitting some headbands, bags, and things,
sew some pillows and mod podge some buttons and fabric
onto things, and sell them at craft fairs
#6 - make some things inspired by this incredible artist,
and the woods, and old things:
http://intothehermitage.blogspot.com/
(my heart just about stopped when emily showed me this
blog. Everything i want to do, is pretty much summed up
in this)
#7 - A road trip to solvang and san fran soon, no plans. just drive.

I am sure there are more things to do. there always are.
but this is all that i can retract from my busy brain at the moment.

And i leave you with my travelling home...(well, someday)

I shall sit among the trees and sheep, and neath the stars in my
gypsy wagon of collections and songs and poems and love,
sharing the beauty that i have experienced, and make my
way to the Electric Picnic to live and to love

- A side note -
Currently listening to and loving:
fanfarlo - i'm a pilot
animal collective - leaf house
lisa hannigan (always) - the lady is a tramp
nick drake - free ride
arcade fire - intervention

I am pathetic.

2009-11-04T00:00:00.001-08:00

So
i looked again
at my last blog (that is now gone)
and it is gone because reading it
again i felt absolutely pathetic for
myself, and i don't think anyone
wants to read that. It was seriously
depressing me looking at what
i thought was going horribly wrong in my life
i am so grateful for everything.
Now more than ever.

I will write soon.
but for now
i leave you with the fact
that i am going to see Lisa Hannigan at
the Troubadour Nov. 10th.

that is all.

Salvation Mountain and Leonard Knight

2009-10-08T15:37:00.000-07:00

So. I'm sick in bed, and have been for two days.

Physically and emotionally i am completely drained.

I want to quit everything and lie here forever,

and I am so uninspired.

And then i remembered the video me and my roomate

watched the other night on Salvation Mountain that Leonard

gave Chad when we went there, and was so comforted, but made so

uncomfortable at the same time.

Lauren and I set out to find Salvation Mountain

on an extremely hot day this summer.

I knew little of it, just that it looked like an artists paradise.

I knew nothing of leonard and the creation that God built with Leonard.

On the way out there, we stopped in Palm Springs and picked up

Lauren's friend Chad, and from there we drove about 2 1/2 more hours

to find the mountain.

We finally got there.

and walking around, i remember a silence that i have never

experienced before. It was complete silence and peace and though

it was hott (about 110 degrees), i forgot about the heat. I forgot about

everything.

As i was exploring, Lauren found Leonard and he said he

wanted to give us a tour.

I was absolutely blown away with the amount of

humility Leonard has. With his wobbly legs he took us around

mountain and told us he built it from scratch, and that he

used adobe from the mountain, windows are car tires he found on

the road, and hay.

We explored some more, and then went over to sit

with Leonard (and Vince, but he is another ridiculous story in itself).

Chad and Lauren were doing most of the talking, but i didn't mind.

listening and learning was great.

He said that everyone overcomplicates everything and that

God is Love and love God. why have we lost our childlike faith?

Chad also asked if he had actually seen the real Chris McCandless

and he said yes, but he didn't know it at first. He was reading or looking

through Chris's book and realized Chris had come through the mountain.

In short. Leonard, was one of the most inspirational, humble

souls i have ever met, and i ended up writing a song about him actually.

I only wish to have his humility and his quiet strength. Which

is the part that made me uncomfortable. The fact that i am so

attached to worldly possesions, and so selfish, and lack so much humility.

If you EVER have the chance to go out there, do it.

I urge you to go and see this mountain, and have a conversation with

Leonard. It could just change your whole perception of life.

watch this:

PS - watch Into the Wild, Leonard and the mountain are in it.

Crafts, Electric Picnic, and Ireland!

2009-10-05T17:23:00.000-07:00

My urge to go to Electric Picnic and Ireland

only grows stronger each day.

Electric Picnic is a music and arts

festival in the countryside of Ireland

that is A-MAZING! The energy, the art,

the music (lisa hannigan is there EVERY year).

what a glorious festival.

come with me!

{ http://www.electricpicnic.ie/ }

After i graduate college i am going to

go live in Ireland for a little bit.

2 months I think for now, but who knows

it could be longer.

I can't sit in my classrooms anymore

without being ancy and thinking about

all the adventures i could be on at that very moment!

Although, i do have some pretty sweet classes

this semester, like Drawing and sociology.

I think i was born on the wrong continent.

While i am over in Europe,

or before i die, I am going to play at this

incredible venue, even if i have no one to play to.

Probably the most surreal place i have ever

laid eyes on - Union Chapel in England

Damien Rice, Lisa Hannigan, Fionn Regan, and Fleet Foxes are just

a few of the amazing musicians who have gone through it.

{ http://www.unionchapel.org.uk/ }

Another scattered thought,

come with me to this as well

Patchwork arts & crafts festival

{ http://patchworkshow.com/ }

Crafts are such an amazing creative outlet for me

Sewing, Knitting, mixed media artwork - it all gets me so excited!

and this is the PERFECT festival.

You

2009-09-01T21:21:00.000-07:00

can you catch me, i'm falling

can you help me, i'm drowning

can you find me, i'm hiding

can you save me from your blood

can you reach for the moon and sun

can you find me, i'm hiding

you answer quick, but your mind hides lies

you trod along, then fall on your sword

your the one that i am fighting

your the one with my love

#1

2009-08-02T19:44:00.000-07:00

The wind blows in fragrant breeze

Through the breast of the naked trees

And the color in your face

Is as grey as the air

Time slows upon the doom

and the race to the end is near

velvet blood streaming

through your silver hair

we cannot see

Invisible Children: The Rescue

2009-04-11T22:51:00.000-07:00

These children are being kidnapped every day, against their will, due to one man:

Joseph Kony

Please watch this, and help.
Donate money, come to the free event on April 25th
We have to free God's children, this just breaks my heart.

http://therescue.invisiblechildren.com/en/

make yourself uncomfortable for once, leave our showers, beds, television, computers, go out and do something.
http://www.invisiblechildren.com/home.php

2009-02-22T15:48:00.001-08:00

Lisa is my favorite -

i find myself dressing like her

trying to get the sound of her music to

sound like my sound

(although that doesn't go very well)

she is my role model

Gosh she is fantastic

recording things...

2009-02-16T20:47:00.000-08:00

So, last summer i went into a small recording studio

in Monrovia to record a CD.

It turned out alright, but i am not satisfied with it.

It is not up to my own musical standard.

In fact i am embarrassed by some of the songs now -

like embarrassing old pictures from jr. high or high school.

Some of the songs are alright, but the point is, my style/the bands style

has changed. Tremendously. And i don't regret going in the studio

one bit! It gave us great experience and now i understand

the musical direction i am going in because of it.

So with that said, we are going into the recording studio again this summer, and

I am confident i won't be embarrassed by some of these tracks.

I am writing about different things (not just silly boys), and utilizing all the

cool instruments i now own, like melodica's and glockenspiels.

I hope you enjoy the music me and my band make, because

we sure do work hard.

www.myspace.com/natalienicoles

dear brothers and sisters

2009-02-08T01:04:00.000-08:00

From the song "Built then Burnt - Silver Mt. Zion"

dear Brothers and Sisters,
dear Enemies and Friends,

why are we all so alone here? all we need is a little more hope, a little more joy. all we need is a little more light, a little less weight, a little more freedom. if we were an army, and if we believed that we were an army, and we believed that everyone was scared, like little lost children in their grown up clothes and poses; so we ended up alone here floating through long wasted days, or great tribulations...while everything felt wrong. good words, strong words, words that could've moved mountains. words that no one ever said. we were all waiting to hear those words and no one ever said them. and the tactics never hatched. and the plans were never mapped. and we all learned not to believe. and strange lonesome monsters loafed through the hills wondering why...and it is best to never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever wonder why. so tangle -- oh tangle us up in bright red ribbons! let's have a parade. it's been so long since we had a parade, so let's have a parade! let's invite all our friends. and all our friends' friends! let's promenade down the boulevards with terrific pride and light in our eyes: twelve feet tall and staggering. sick with joy, with the angels there, and light in our eyes.

Brothers and Sisters, hope still waits in the wings like a bitter spinster; impatient, lonely and shivering, waiting to build her glorious fires. it's because of our plans man; our beautiful ridiculous plans, let's launch them like careening jetplanes

another bag of bones

2008-12-01T09:39:00.000-08:00

a fantastic song by Kevin Devine

It’s a brushfire spreading, feeding as it moves It’s a disappeared glacier, it’s an airborne flu It’s your disbelieving eyes locked in concrete miles It’s your yawning conscious and your lawyer’s smile It’s an occupied country, foaming at the mouth No smoking gun, no mushroom cloud It’s a military mother with a boy in hell And it’s a flag draped casket down an oil well It’s an Argentina school girl, gagged and bound It’s a torture camp, it’s a long way down It’s the constant brace and shock of now It’s the whole damn world turned inside out, all right It’s a march to extinction with your god in step It’s his name in your mouth, it’s his cross on your neck It’s a farm boy sprinting over desert dirt And he’s panting the ‘Our Father’ in staccato spurts now that's his automatic rifle and it tells no lies That’s his truth in your stomach, it’s no alibi But the trouble lies on the other side With an equal truth prepping for his holy night He sees his crescent and the star in the virgin sky He hears the call of milk and honey from the afterlife And as he eases to the check point, he is calm and sure It’s collateral damage, it’s the cost of war It’s another bag of bones for the gods to sort It’s just another bag of bones for the gods to sort It’s the species disappearing, all the birds fly south In a January heat wave and a pulsing crowd It’s an African militia, kids with sub machines It’s a conflict diamond on your bride to be It’s the dispossessed lining up every gate It’s the facts worth facing, faced way too late It’s the mission of modernity, go get what’s yours’ ’Til there’s nothing leftover to get no more And it’s not what were owed but it’s what we’ve earned And it’s closer than we realized that it's time now, to burn It’s time now to burn Oh, it’s time now to burn

watch it: